rebecca1428

Hi everybody!  I had an interesting weekend!  After such a phenomenal week last week I decided to cheat on Friday AND Saturday nights.  I had 2 Bloody Mary’s, two bowls of Chex Mix (YUM) and 3 Milano cookies.  OH, and 2 mini ice cream sandwiches, all for dinner on Friday.  Saturday I cleaned up my act a little bit except for alcohol consumption and a slice of pizza.  So, even though I’m sure I haven’t undone too much progress, I’m terrified of the scale right now.  I’m back on track and won’t go near the scale till I’ve been on South Beach for at least 3 straight days.  If it goes up even a pound I’m sure I’ll be depressed, which leads to more ice cream sandwiches, and… well you get the idea!

In other news, I’m going to the doctor today to see if I am having panic attacks.  I have these episodes where I have trouble breathing and my heart pounds like it is coming out of my chest, and my thoughts start racing.  It usually only lasts a few minutes and goes away, but the breathing thing stays with me.  I never knew what it was till I was reading online about them, and sounds like what I have, except that it doesn’t seem as severe as most people report.  For instance, I don’t feel as if I’m going to die or go crazy.  But I do feel very uncomfortable and frustrated, even angry during these episodes.  And I have a hard time steering my thoughts away from a particular worry or negative image.

It’s very distressing!  I slept almost not at all last night!  But good news is that I’m going to the doctor today to see if this is in fact what is happening and figure out how to treat it.  I hope I can get something to calm me down before we go to Chicago this weekend, being around Jake’s family and friends always makes me feel uneasy (although I love them!  For some reason I work myself into being nervous every time.)

SO, looks like I’m going crazy folks!  At least I’m working on looking good while doing it!