rebecca1428

Another pound gone!!!  I’m now at 141, only 1 pound to go to meet my mini goal!  One measly pound!!!!  I know I can do it now!  I can’t say how excited I was when I weighed in this morning.  In fact, I hopped off the scale so fast b/c I didn’t want the number to change!!! 

WOOHOO!!!

OK everyone I need some encouragement!  The wedding date is no longer faintly in the distance, friendly and welcoming with plenty of weight loss time in between.  The wedding date is now LOOMING just over the horizon.  I don’t have time for cheat weekends anymore!!  Here’s what happened to me:  I had my usual cheat day after my LOWEST EVER weigh in (142!!!!!  WOO HOO) and the problem is, the cheat day extended into Sunday, then Monday, and then Tuesday.  Of course, Monday and Tuesday was reduced fat wheat thins and lite cool whip all day, so I don’t know how bad that is.  On South Beach, it’s really bad b/c now I feel as if I’ve gained 5 pounds of water weight overnight - so discouraging! 

So, I managed to turn a triumphant moment into a guilt-ridden consequence.  Today, I’m on the straight and narrow.   Boot camp South Beach ever since I opened my eyes this morning.  I’m so close to my mini goal of 140 I can smell it so why am I losing it now???

Also I had a mini-meltdown Monday night because working 2 jobs and planning a wedding and trying to maintain a relationship with completely opposite hours is next to impossible.  I’ve skipped a few workouts too… that will change tomorrow morning.  On the upside, I spent 5 hours cleaning my house vigorously last night (yes, it was that messy!) and my whole body is sore, so I’m sure that counts for exercise! 

SO…. whine whine whine.  I’m pulling myself together, I’m back on track, I’m focused, I’m energetic, and I can do anything for 2 months…… right???????

WHOOOO!!!  I am sloooooow going but at least I’m going in the right direction!  Last week I was at 143.5, now 143.  I’ll take it!  I have got to stop my bad habit of sneaking in weigh-ins in between my designated day, and at different times during the day though!  I had kind of a rough week with attitude b/c a couple of times I weighed, I was up, then down, then up again (each time by less than 2 pounds, but everyone knows how that feels!  Even 1 pound in the wrong direction can be discouraging).  Anyway, this week, no cheating on that so I can bask in the glory of this new weight!  I love it when I get on the cardio machines at the gym and it asks to put in your weight, and I get to put a new weight in for the first time!!!  :)  That will be tomorrow morning. 

In other news, I got a part-time job as a server at a little family-style restaurant to help pay the wedding bills (77 days to go!!) and it’s actually fun!  I think running my ass off (literally) at this place will help me lose weight more quickly too, as long as I can avoid eating the food (HELLO chicken-fried chicken and GRAVY!!!)

Jacob and I were joking the other day about how grease and gravy are paying for our wedding :)  He said I should get that engraved on his wedding band: “This ring brought to you by… gravy”  hehe

I love him!  He’s working hard too, full time on his regular beat (he’s a cop) and also 2 part-time jobs.  We’ll make it!  Both of us are a little stressed right now, but we know it’s temporary :)  I can’t wait to get married!  But I have 8 more pounds to go first.

 Later taters!!

Hi everybody!  I had an interesting weekend!  After such a phenomenal week last week I decided to cheat on Friday AND Saturday nights.  I had 2 Bloody Mary’s, two bowls of Chex Mix (YUM) and 3 Milano cookies.  OH, and 2 mini ice cream sandwiches, all for dinner on Friday.  Saturday I cleaned up my act a little bit except for alcohol consumption and a slice of pizza.  So, even though I’m sure I haven’t undone too much progress, I’m terrified of the scale right now.  I’m back on track and won’t go near the scale till I’ve been on South Beach for at least 3 straight days.  If it goes up even a pound I’m sure I’ll be depressed, which leads to more ice cream sandwiches, and… well you get the idea!

In other news, I’m going to the doctor today to see if I am having panic attacks.  I have these episodes where I have trouble breathing and my heart pounds like it is coming out of my chest, and my thoughts start racing.  It usually only lasts a few minutes and goes away, but the breathing thing stays with me.  I never knew what it was till I was reading online about them, and sounds like what I have, except that it doesn’t seem as severe as most people report.  For instance, I don’t feel as if I’m going to die or go crazy.  But I do feel very uncomfortable and frustrated, even angry during these episodes.  And I have a hard time steering my thoughts away from a particular worry or negative image.

It’s very distressing!  I slept almost not at all last night!  But good news is that I’m going to the doctor today to see if this is in fact what is happening and figure out how to treat it.  I hope I can get something to calm me down before we go to Chicago this weekend, being around Jake’s family and friends always makes me feel uneasy (although I love them!  For some reason I work myself into being nervous every time.)

SO, looks like I’m going crazy folks!  At least I’m working on looking good while doing it!